jasminedawn

The next few days flew by faster than I expecteted it to. Soon it was Thursday, and I told Mr.Ryan that I was not able to make it to band camp that day. Before I knew it, I was walking through the church doors to my brother's memorial service. As soon as I walked in, I was aware of the other people inside. It was mostly family, family friends, and some of Dalton's close friends. I looked ahead to see an open casket. I decided I could go ahead and see. I approached it, peering inside reluctantly. Inside I saw Dalton lying in there. He looked completely different. His hair wasn't frizzy mess. Instead, it was clean cut and brushed over smoothly

       It was July 15th. My sophomore year of high school had just ended about two months ago, and it was time for me to enjoy the summer. Every friend I had was busy, so enjoyment wouldn't be easy. There would be no going out to the mall, to the movies, or even out posing in very suggestive bathing suits for pictures. Most of my friends didn't exactly do those kinds of things. I liked to hang around book nerds. They seemed to suit me, since I was one myself. So that's what my summer would be. Reading, reading, and more reading. It would be the better idea, anyways, since I did have to read The Grapes of Wrath for my AP English class next yea

See the stop lights Turn to green. Everybody's moving on with their lives. See them moving; faster and faster they drive. They don't bother to hit the stop sign. They're moving on. Just moving on. And I just took a left onto lonley avenue. It's just me and the sky so blue. I wish you could take a ride with me down this lonely avenue but there's not room for two. Just me. People taking all of the short cuts. Look at them, taking the easy way out. Speeding through all of these red lights hoping that they never get a ticket. See them moving; faster and faster they drive. They're moving on Yeah, they're moving on with thei

Staying up late tonight. I can't sleep. Trying to find some inspiration to write everything I'm feeling. I haven't seen you in four damn months. I haven't heard from you in more than weeks. Why can't you understand it's killing me? You're killing me. You told me that you loved me. You told me forever. I took it in, I believed you. But you were always wrong. Now I'm taking this in and trying to figure this out. I thought I moved on. But I was wrong. Do you remember that one Sunday? It was February, I believe. It was the first time I ever met you in person. Why does this happen to me? I'm trying to take things slow. I'm t

It's been over a year now. I've seen winter turn to spring and spring turn to fall And when fall turns to winter I don't want to feel anything at all. It's been over a year now, Over a year, too long. I can't help this guilty feeling. Feeling like I was wrong. Now this is my life without you. Now this is how I live. What can I do? You're not here by my side. Telling myself that I'm alright. But I'm not. I'm not. This is emptiness without you. I've counted all these many stars hoping one of them could be you. I've tried to hold you, but you're too far. Somewhere in this sky so blue. And I wish I could tell you that I love

I lay here in silence Battered and bruised. I lay here in darkness Without anything to prove. Love has lost it's light a long time ago. It's fire has vanished beneath the bleeding snow. Why I care, I guess I'll never know. Love has lost it's light a long time ago. Now I cry day and night. I guess you don't have the time for me. Now I wonder why. Love has lost it's light. I wonder why we had to say good night. I live day after day. It's all the same. I live in misery and pain. It won't go away. Happiness has lost it's light a long time ago. It's embers have vanished beneath the bleeding snow. Why you care, I guess I'll never

   How many days had it been since my heart was torn in half? Too many for me to count. Too many for me to keep up with. I think it's been two weeks, but I can't be very sure. It feels like it's been forever. It feels like it's been years. I prop myself against a single, flattened pillow. I'd rather be alone, but then I'd rather not. I can't decide anymore. Such a simple thing, and I can't so much as decide. What's wrong with me? What did I ever do to deserve this? I never knew. I never ever knew. Loneliness was the loneliest feeling ever. Go figure, as if I couldn't be more obvious with things. And that was my problem. I'm too obvious. It's

Why can't I escape hell? Why can't I close my eyes? I feel caged like some wild animal. Why can't I feel alright? So many things I've tried I feel like giving up. They always tell me I'm fine. But if this if fine why am I losing my mind? Stuck in the labyrinth of suffering Stuck in the place and I don't know if I can breathe It's like a panic attack is taking over me. Why can't I breathe? Why can't I get my heart to stop beating So quick. Someone take this life from me. I don't feel responsible Everything is impossible to me. My heart is a beating object imprisoned inside a wretched me. My soul can't get out. Can't you hear

Sometimes I like standing in the rain. It reminds me sometimes that all is falling pain. Sometimes I like to come across a fallen tree. It always reminds me that someone's looking at me. How would we live if life were simple? Would we be careless, or maybe more careful? How would we live without the grief? Would we be crying? Now, why are you looking at me? If I told you I had fallen would you offer me a friendly hand? Why do you think we're always fighting? This really isn't what I planned. But if you go ahead and help me off the ground I'll be something, I'll somebody Maybe for once you'd be proud. Sometimes I like to feel t